Many things must be done to reach that goal of a successful entrepreneur, including, but not limited to, your product or service, your skillset, your market, and your determination. But what many entrepreneurs and their loved ones (spouse, partner, etc.) don’t understand is the impact that a spouse or partner or loved one has when it comes to the success of your business.
Join Jay on his latest Black Entrepreneur Blueprint podcast episode # 428 when he discusses what to do when your spouse or partner doesn’t support your entrepreneurial dreams. This is a must-listen.
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BLACK ENTREPRENEUR BLUEPRINT EPISODE # 428 – SHOW NOTES
I want to focus on impactful episodes and this episode could be the difference between success and failure for your business. We know what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur, but many times our spouse or partner doesn’t understand the effect that they have on us and our success. Today we’re going to jump into this critical topic and I’m going to give some tips to both the entrepreneur and the spouse/partner of the entrepreneur to help them become a successful entrepreneur.
BUT FIRST WE’RE GOING TO ASK A FEW CRITICAL QUESTIONS:
# 1 – What’s the Real Reason Your Spouse/partner/loved ones have a problem with you being a full-time entrepreneur?
- Is it money (lack of money)
- Scared of risk
- thinks it’s silly
- doesn’t believe you can do it
- jealous they don’t have the guts to live their dreams
- I messed up our money before
- they don’t believe in entrepreneurship
# 2 – Have you identified the REAL reason(s) and have you addressed it?
Once you’ve identified the REAL reason(s) they oppose your entrepreneurial journey, you can now get more specific and discuss things in a more direct manner.
My wife came from a “working” family in education (they are civilians) and wasn’t taught to really appreciate entrepreneurship as a way to make a living. We clashed about me leaving corporate America and having to tell her family I’m an entrepreneur. She didn’t believe in me at all, and that really affected me mentally and stunted my entrepreneurial growth because I was afraid to fail and let her know about my failures when in all reality, failure is part of the process. I discuss my story in more detail in the episode.
HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO:
# 1 – Explain to your spouse/partner/loved ones why you are doing this and be specific. Are you doing this on a whim, or are you serious about your business?
- Why are you embarking on entrepreneurship (I was built to be an entrepreneur, not an employee, my best chance at success, legacy, the opportunity to better our situation, etc.)
- What are the benefits to US if I’m successful (what’s in it for them)? A better life, new home, generational wealth, etc.
# 2 – Lay out the expectations so you with both know what is coming (expectations make or break any relationship).
- NEVER overestimate how fast you will be successful. Remember, you are setting an expectation that you may not be able to live up to. Entrepreneurship is fickle, if you think it’s going to take you 12 months, make it 24. Always underestimate your success because there is no exact blueprint
- Let them know that this is not a guarantee, but an estimate. You never want to guarantee the timeframe for success, especially before you even start. Once you’re in the game and understand what you’re dealing with, then you can better determine expectations.
- Discuss what this new life is going to look like financially. You may have to cut back on things you’ve become accustomed to like vacations, eating out, extracurricular activities, clothing, cable, etc.
- Create a NEW budget with your income from your new business. Your new business may not have any income for a while so prepare for that so there are no surprises.
# 3 – How long are you and your spouse/partner/loved ones going to give yourself to make money?
- Discuss your finances and how long you can and are willing to go without making any money or very little money.
- Do you have money saved up to invest in your business and how long will that hold up? Discuss what happens if your money runs out and how much more you are willing to invest in the business. Set a limit.
# 4 – Discuss the importance of their support and the difference between real supporting and tolerating your entrepreneurial journey. The difference between success and failure for an entrepreneur can be highly affected by the thoughts, feelings, and actions of your spouse/partner/loved ones.
- Negative thoughts, feelings, and actions from your spouse/partner/loved ones WILL negatively affect your business (not may, WILL). The demeanor of that spouse/partner can give life or death to your business
- Your mental confidence is key to your success. If you come home from your business and your spouse or partner says to you “I know you had a tough day and it’s hard right now, but I know you can do it, I believe in you.” Versus “Damn, we don’t have any money and you’re wasting time on this pipedream as an entrepreneur, just go get a damn job.” Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
- Discuss how to communicate respectfully. This may sound silly but the old saying goes, “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Example: “I know you’re trying really hard, but when do you think you may need to try something else.” If you can communicate respectfully, you can stop the possibility of resentment and anger which can cause problems in your relationship.
# 5 – Be committed to your success. Bust your ass and let your spouse/partner see you putting in the work to be successful. You can’t talk about wanting it and not putting in the work.
- Allocate your time wisely and sacrifice to be successful – if they see you sacrificing for your dream then they understand you’re serious. Example: stop wasting time playing video games or watching tv while you could be working on your business
- Cut down on your spending to make your dream become a reality
- Invest in elevating your entrepreneur IQ – always continue to educate yourself to help launch, build, and grow, a successful, sustainable business.
# 6 – Be as transparent about your business as your spouse/partner needs you to be. Some spouses/partners don’t care what you’re doing and are only focused on the bottom line. Others like to be more involved and want to hear about your wins and losses. “You can’t handle the truth.”
- Remember, you need to know your spouse/partner’s personality and what makes more sense for your ultimate success. Remember, nobody is as optimistic about your business as you. (Example: when we were paying off debt and getting out of financial trouble my wife and I sat down together to pay off the bills so she could see and understand where we were and the progress we were making).
- Have periodic updates update them on your progress if that makes sense for your spouse/partner
# 7 – Understand you speak a different language – You speak boss, and they speak civilian.
When you speak “Boss”
- you see the opportunities, they see the obstacles
- you see the corrections you need to make; they see the mistakes you already made
- you see the money you’re going to make if you keep going, they see that you’re struggling financially right now
- you see the long-term vision; they see the short-term
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